Letting Go of Obsessive Behaviour

Hey Guys and Gals,


Long time no speak! I apologise for my lack of posting – I have not been near an internet connection in a while! Such is the life of a third-world-country-dwelling musician!


I have been doing some serious thinking regarding my eating habits over the past week. Those of you who know me well will know that the last 8 years of my life have been rife with eating disorders and food obsessions (I’m not ashamed to publicly declare this – disordered eating thrives on secrecy). In the past two years I have tried to develop new, healthy habits – seeking muscl-gain over weight-loss, and changing my motivation from “being thin” to “being healthy”. For the most part, I have been successful. I no longer desire to be the skinniest woman on earth, but instead desire to be lean, strong and muscular. I have learned that achieving 0% body fat is not an admirable goal, and that there is more to life than having a great body. However, I have decided to make some changes to the way I eat. Planning my diet in any way (even so far as determining to eat a certain amount of protein or calories) is an unhealthy exercise for me. For many people, it is a great way to achieve their goals. I am not one of those people. The more I plan, the more obsessive I become. This obsession either results in me becoming over-restrictive or binge-eating. Both outcomes are unhealthy and leave me feeling somewhat miserable. As such I have decided to spend less time thinking about my diet. I enjoy good food and generally have a natural inclination towards healthier options, but I no longer want to write diet plans, ban certain foods or insist on eating X-amount of meals per day even if it’s seriously inconvenient. Doing so has brought me no success thus far, and has not made my life any more enjoyable.


Don’t misunderstand me – I still advocate healthy eating, I still enjoy trying and creating healthy versions of my favourite recipes, and I will still endeavour to eat good, wholesome food. But I have no desire to make a religion out of it, or to spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about what to eat when I could rather be thinking about things of far greater importance – God, my faith, my family, my career, etc.


On the exercise front, I am still going to continue with the weight-training, as well as activity-based cardio (walks on the beach, jogging in the sunshine, swimming in the sea, etc.).


Being of sound-mind is far more important to me than being “ripped”, and since this is not possible for me when being over-concerned with my diet, I am choosing to let go of that concern! This doesn’t mean I’m going to gorge on KFC every day (I can’t imagine why anyone would want to do that!) – simply that I’m going to stop planning, banning and placing restrictions on food.


I will still be posting healthy recipes, but maybe I’ll also include a few that aren’t strictly “clean” (for lack of a better word – I actually really hate the terms “clean” and “unclean” when used to describe food).


The Bible says that Christ set us free for freedom’s sake – for as long as I am obsessing about food, I am not walking in that freedom. Time for that to change! Hope the coming week is a great one for you all!


Much love,



2 responses to “Letting Go of Obsessive Behaviour

  • april

    Hi Mali! I have been checking your blog lately to see if you have posted… so glad you did now!! 🙂

    I’m loving your new thoughts, and I think we both have realized the same things lately. I’ve been enjoying a lot more things lately- carbs and real sugar- and I’ve realized who cares if I’m not x% body fat.. I’m not trying to impress anyone and I should just enjoy myself!

    • themalikwhey

      Thanks April! It’s been hard for me to keep up with the regular posting seeing as I haven’t been spending as much time at the studio where there is an internet connection!

      And I totally agree – what’s the point in eating healthy all the time if you’re not having fun! I’m glad to see that lots of people seem to be loosening up a little with regards to their diets. It’s great to be healthy, but I figure that being too anxious or obsessive about food is, in itself, unhealthy!

      Oh and congrats on the 10 pull-ups! Seems like the sugar did you good!

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